The first time I saw Yen was 20 years ago, when she had just turned 20 years old, had just graduated from dance school, her face was young and beautiful like a warbler, smiling transparently next to Hollywood’s big stars in the movie. launch press conference Quiet Americans – The film crew gave Yen the dream role: Phuong. At that time, for some reason, I had a vague unsettling premonition at an opportunity too big and coming too soon with a small girl who seemed to be gazing at life with rose-tinted glasses.
5 years later, in the first long conversation with Yen at a lakeside restaurant on a frosty winter morning, Yen’s face was also covered with dew, and that’s when the warbler had just come out of a storm. . The marriage broke up at the age of 25, the career aura was not far away, but it was almost stagnating: Is there a role that is strong enough to be able to overcome the huge shadow of the first two heavy roles in life? Phoenix – Quiet AmericansPao – Pao’s story)?
But strangely, Yen’s face was peaceful at that time, even when she cried about her sadness, it was still fresh. After the aura and marriage, everything came too soon, Yen at that time just wanted to slow down, walking every two days from the tiny attic on Trang Thi street, around the lake to the lake. Hanoi’s “rich market” (Hang Be market) just to buy a bunch of fragrant leaves to boil water to wash hair. Yen said, that leaf juice helps her awake. Yen always believes that. Wake up. Enough to get out of the coma, sometimes.
In my remaining impressions of Phuong in Quiet American, I remember her smiling a lot, and almost just smiling, like a “Vietnamese version of Mona Lisa”. Why do you think she’s smiling?
Phuong probably makes it easy for people to think that she is a bit absent-minded and apathetic. But I think she really knows what she wants most. When the inside is strong enough, people will know what they want most, and vice versa.
What do you think she wants?
She just wanted to be at peace. Despite the surrounding forces, she didn’t need to know.
There’s always something to be learned from a role, right?
Have. It is true that I did learn from Phuong, a little bit. That, no matter what, you still have to go to the end of the path you choose by all means, even when you can’t control everything around you. It’s important to be strong enough to face it when things spiral out of control.
Do you think you have that power?
I think not. I’m a woman and I’m an artist. Clever is a case of the opposite, looks smart but is actually ignorant. Just looking at what I do is enough to know. If you like to arrange flowers, open a flower shop. If you want your child to go to a good school, open a school. If you like meeting people, miss your job, miss your friends… then open a beautiful place to organize events, exhibitions, movie screenings… No profit or loss… husband bears.
All money spent on things… hard to make money? Have guilt?
That’s a huge sin! It is true that I am only good at spending, not good at earning, all of my initiatives “in the clouds”. It takes a husband who is patient and tolerant enough to “endure” a “bad” wife. Fortunately, my husband is a businessman but also an artist. Anything related to art, he considers justifiable expenses.
But regret is not. Because everything I do is for the child, what is needed for the child and for the family atmosphere. For the past 7 years, what makes me proud is that I haven’t given up on what’s best for my child.
So do you ever feel guilty about yourself, that you did not “by all means go to the end of the path you have chosen”?
I knew that for the past 7 years if I had continued acting, I might have become a little more popular, or at least maintain my popularity. But to a woman, is there anything in the world that could be more valuable than her children? For the past 7 years, there is no word called “sorry” in my dictionary.
Having said that, I was also quite surprised by her later choices, when I had heard before that, after her aura, Quiet Americanswere you afraid to stop giving birth for fear of affecting your career?
Those who are close to me and understand me know that I am a very traditional type of woman. So obviously, my family is always the most important. Remember that Quiet Americans premiered when the internet was new to Vietnam 5 years ago, the popularity is therefore not as terrible as the later internet boom.
Not to mention, almost immediately after that, I also had a career shock enough to wake up. That’s when I lost the female lead role in a blockbuster movie Memoirs of Geisha (which later fell into the hands of Zhang Ziyi), even though he had passed the casting round and was just waiting for the shooting date. Imagine what it feels like to be a girl who is asked to marry by someone she loves, and then the wedding doesn’t happen in the end! A kite was being blown by the wind, thought it would fly high, but suddenly dropped, but it wasn’t because it didn’t try. At the age of eighteen and twenty, I even had times when I felt like I was in a crisis, depression, sometimes lying in bed all day without bothering to eat, watch, say anything… Feeling like The whole world is turning its back on me, I don’t know if the path I’m on is correct or not…
But at least that shock helped me soon realize that: Not everything I want is okay, even when I thought it was already in my hands. The glory can soon bloom and fade, and acting is, after all, just a profession like any other.
So when your career didn’t go your way, did you ever feel comfortable stopping to have children?
I think the most comfortable feeling is when two adults feel they are mature enough and the relationship is deep enough to know when is the best time. Any love can be sublimated and passionate at times, but to really respect and be serious with each other, sometimes is another matter.
In general, it is necessary to really understand each other and have the same goal before thinking about having children. Every child always deserves to be born into a happy family. Children should not be used as a reason to start or continue. That reason in my opinion is the worst. Children are sacred, and what is sacred should not be acted upon spontaneously.
What is a happy child, according to you?
It is to see life innocently as it is, without being clever before age.
How to keep the innocence of children?
Never let children see the problems of adults, the complicated world of adults. In order to keep his atmosphere absolutely fresh, we always avoid talking loudly in front of him. What husband and wife will sit down and talk quietly to each other. Okay or not, those two adults have to learn to make arrangements for themselves. And that’s how parents grow up.
What is a mature man?
Being able to protect their families, give their women a sense of security, and their children a feeling of warmth. If men have those qualities and always give off that special atmosphere, it is easy to make their careers more solid.
Director Phillip Noyce once advised me: “Choose yourself a man who is tolerant enough, then her life will become easy”. At that time, I was not deep enough to fully appreciate his profound advice. But later on, I understood that he wanted to help me see what is the definition of a mature man.
If it was Phuong, Pao…, now searching for the name “Do Thi Hai Yen” is all the word “giant wife”. Or, roughly speaking, the “warmness of the body”. The career of being a wife is therefore also easier?
Of course, a good economy will help you think less. But I think, under any conditions, no husband would like a woman who doesn’t know how to take care of the family and only knows how to spend money and waste. My husband used to start a business from scratch, more than anyone else, he always understands the value of sweat. Everyone’s married life is the same, there are highs and lows and even business is the same, no matter how successful, it is inevitable that there are times when there are turbulent times, such as the recent Covid-19 pandemic. Export orders are delayed, employees are thousands of people, it’s also a headache!
Still have to say a very old saying that life knows how to be enough. Everyone says so, but there aren’t many people experienced enough to believe it. There are people who search their whole life and are still not satisfied, not finding enough.
For me, “enough” is having health, having a family and being able to live next to the people I love and know how to love me. It is when you feel that you have a good source of energy, enough to calm your mind; an open heart, no more important than losing, enough to be friendly with life and people.
Business in the wood industry, surely he is no stranger to the saying “better wood than good paint”?
Everyone is the same, it has to be bumpy and then to know the wood layer under the paint. It is true that paint, in addition to beautifying can also help to cover the damaged wood, but it is still important to solve the problem from the root. All coatings are subject to fading and peeling, which is only a temporary measure. Never bet your life on temporary measures.
What do you think is your luckiest?
I think my luck is to have had bad luck when I was young, to be mature before my age, to do it again while there was still a chance and a good opportunity. As they say, women have to go through events to know how strong they are, exactly.
I was a child born into a family whose parents divorced very early and also lived far away from home since childhood. I got married early just because I always wanted to have a complete and complete family. And it took a long time to know that I was still strong enough to live alone. Stepping out of the habit was a daunting challenge for me at the time. Those habits, it can kill me in silence because of the needle ring that it spreads all over me. At times when I needed to be liberated, I was always bound by the thought: It may not be good to be in here, but it may be worse to get out. But then in another incident, I finally realized that: I am only born once in my life, I cannot be a lifelong slave of those habits. Surely there must be someone out there who is suitable for you, with a well-deserved happiness waiting for you. I must consider myself a treasure so as not to waste my life. I have to be interesting, then my life will be interesting.
What time was that?
That was when I was alone in the hospital, with my swollen face and the only clothes I brought with me, and I thought I would never be able to return to that house again. I thought sadly that I could die at that time without anyone knowing. So do I deserve to be born if only to live such a life? My answer is no.
And then finally got the correct answers to the other questions. In which, time will always be the most correct answer and also answered. This life does not need the next life to see those answers.
What does your day usually look like?
I usually get up at 6 a.m., feed my children, take them to school, and then go through the little places that I work: a school, a flower shop, a restaurant, a place to teach dance. .. 4 pm pick up the children, wash them, feed them, watch their homework and watch movies with them. At 20:30, the whole guild brushed their teeth and went to bed… Every day was like squeezing a lemon. It is boring to anyone, but to me it is an interesting picture of life, because now I only need to see my baby clean and healthy, so that’s fun.
I’ve seen the flower vases you put in, it’s very natural, and very similar to the color of the movie the eternal by Tran Anh Hung. Having studied flower arrangement in Japan, why do you refuse to arrange flowers in the Ikebana style?
I look like a normal person, but I really like to be liberal. Ikebana was too cold and forced. That’s not my life.
Maybe I misunderstood Ikebana, it’s exactly moving in stillness, not standing still?
Yes, to be still and active, to be the real life force in a dry branch, and that is the beauty of meditation. But besides that, there are still other beauties and other vitality. I don’t want to be a dormant dragon, even though I know that, if need be, it can spit fire. I want to be a hopping warbler in my garden.
Family to me is a garden.