The person who claimed to be “no Phu Quang music, I’ve been starving for a long time” walked out of the studio and was stunned to hear that the poet Duong Tuong had just passed away – the author of the poem Love song 24 famous musician Phu Quang spectrum music. It was also the last song she had just recorded a few hours earlier to close the double album Ngoc Anh sang Phu Quang, expected to be released this year.
“Just then, both the composer of the music and the lyrics have become ‘nostalgic’, but I think the song and the poem will stay young forever at its 24 years old. This is also one of my favorite songs. Phu Quang’s favorite, both because of its very beautiful lyrics, sparing and quiet but so tormenting and haunting: “Twenty-four keys holding the afternoon/Twenty-four branches of dew/Twenty-fourth sound of cicadas/April Avenue/…Give me back twenty-fourths of the parkway/Twenty-fourth widowed moon/I’ll give you all back/Only your night splatter/Twenty-four shadows fell/I kept it for myself”. But has almost never sung because it is too attached to Hong Nhung’s voice. But now, when I first sang it in the studio, that’s when I heard the sad news – a word “charming” suddenly appeared, suddenly disappeared, strangely…”, female singer Ngoc Anh felt sad.
With musician Phu Quang
But which song of Phu Quang really “disappears its shadow” into your life?
That is Romance 1 (Composer Phu Quang popularizes Y Nhi’s poetry – PV):”Then I want to leave like that / Leaving with gratitude / Leaving with closed eyelids / Tears of joy still flowing“. Oh my god it’s exactly like I used to, in the love that I broke up: Leaving – leaving – overflowing – full – grateful – grateful…
Did that song… teach you, or did love teach you?
Sometimes the song can also teach me, or somehow, bring it into my life, it makes me want to have a beautiful life like it. I’m grateful that leaving has kept me awake, about how love is given. Well, it’s not enough, but it’s also necessary to know how, so as not to say “karma” words that hurt others, or think wrongly about others.
What’s your way?
Once, when I heard people comment, “She’s real, instinctive…”, I thought it was a compliment, but in fact, it was a criticism. I must think that is a criticism! Because humans can’t be like animals, they just need to know how to behave according to their instincts. I used to be a terribly jealous girl. At times of doubt, it feels like my heart might jump out of my chest, my hair feels like it’s about to fly off the top of my head. Once thought it was possible to “kill (kill) people in… real” because of jealousy. The phone of my lover and later my husband can never be… with a girl’s voice, just “female” give it here and I will talk, no matter what, I’ll talk to you, no fuss ! Similarly, his car also does not have any daughter to sit in, even a little help is not enough. I once forced my lover to change the car because he used to let a girl sit down from the gate of the Conservatory of Music to the photocopy shop near the school, because I refused to sit on that saddle anymore. Once, during an episode of the program, a woman approached my husband to ask something; Seeing it from afar, I rushed over and asked out loud, “What’s up?” (What’s up?). This story later became a kind of gossip and for a while, my friends in the US often used that sentence as a “nickname” to tease me: Ngoc Anh “What’s up”.
No wonder she sings Murder in a dream so great! Then in the end, how does he… “survive”?
That’s a good life! (laugh) Because actually looking back, no one is happier than the men next to me. Because other than being jealous, people think I’m good at everything, I haven’t done anything wrong. The proof is that after breaking up, we still continue to be friends, even add friends, as new people of ex-husband and ex-wife. And my jealous way it doesn’t make any noise. Almost never out loud. I just tortured myself, instead of “reprimanding interrogation”, I sat in silence for hours with terrible resignation. I cried a lot because I was weak inside. Is it strong in the way I silently endure, silently struggle. As far as I can imagine.
I usually sing good songs because I don’t have any other place to store them, so when I sing, it’s a rush, and a release…
When will you be freed? Signing the divorce papers?
It’s just that I see, if I don’t save myself, no one will help me. Because every time I get angry, I find my head is on fire, and the headaches keep tormenting me, making me sleepless nights… Not the other person, but I will be the first to suffer.
I see that this is a problem of myself, not of this marriage. Our marriage broke up after more than 10 years we lived together and had a child together. Actually, it’s not really out of jealousy. On the other side, I also sometimes feel that I have never really been a woman because of so many years of having to take the initiative to take care of everything without a comforting caress.
So in this second marriage, have you been… a woman?
Maybe it wasn’t until now that I got… feminine. More caressed. Suddenly, the feeling of being changed roles, suddenly feeling small, no longer guilty of excess hands and feet. Big girls often suffer from that guilt, it’s like a big “guilty” trot doesn’t “deserve” to be protected. Before “long legs” was also considered a value, I used to stand in front of the mirror and say to myself, oh my god, how can I be this big, why not as small as Nhung Bong (singer Hong Nhung)… , is it more protected by men?
There is John (name of Ngoc Anh’s second husband – PV), I feel more put in a woman’s place, and I’m grateful to John for that. I love the way he used to say “I love you” on the phone when we were apart, the way he used to linger and hug me for a while before getting out of bed or out of the house. Thanks to him, I also know how to express my love more, know how to be a lovely woman when they know how to tempt their man. When I was still in Vietnam, I was very shy when I wanted to actively express my feelings, I have witnessed many women, when suddenly hugged by their husband or lover, often throw their hands away and “reprimand”: “Crazy?” . Now I see the value of the elixir called “I love you” instead of “Crazy”. I think emotions are like a winter blanket, before you let it warm you, you have to warm it up first, it takes human breath to warm it up. And if it is cold, it will keep getting colder. So, every day, if possible, should hold hands, at least once, to warm up the feelings. Never give each other the feeling of not needing each other anymore… That’s the little lesson I got from John.
Ngoc Anh’s current home with her son and American husband
Is femininity something to ask for and wait for men to bring?
I used to be like a son who at the age of 5 had to live away from his mother (she studied theater directing in Russia until I was 10), raised by a father who was a tuong artist and his “gut”. he was a strong woman, so he always encouraged me to develop in that direction. I grew up in tuong culture, my manners are as strong and decisive as a “martial mandarin” in tuong. I didn’t know I had beautiful legs until one day I was browsing a program at Hanoi Children’s Palace and was complimented by Uncle Pho Duc Phuong: “Ngoc Anh has beautiful legs!”, and every time I wear shorts or tights Cycling on the street, there are always boys riding bicycles behind. I used to feel bad about my skin because I used the wrong cosmetics… But it was the love and moments of being on stage that helped me gradually realize my beauty. Only femininity is what I find in the end, when put in the right place of a woman. Before, I used to be a cat that loved to scratch fish bones, now I am a cat that loves to be petted, I did not expect I would like to be petted so much. It’s still the same cat, no different hand is placed on it.
Which verb do you find the easiest to conjugate?
Gave way.
Gave way? When did Hoa Thu become good at conjugating this verb?
Yeah, that’s why I split it well! Share it, give it up! After learning about spirituality and being awakened by it, I came out of my first marriage with exactly one word “give up”. I myself did not expect that there was a time when I could conjugate such verbs so well. There was a time when I had to scratch my head because I couldn’t understand myself: “Oh what kind of thing is this?”. Now is the time to teach your son how not to control his lover: “No way baby, look at my experience”.
So is it enough to use in a profession that is very easy to “greedy” with a friend?
No, I’ve never been jealous of my friends. Jealousy when in love, it is not synonymous with jealousy disease. Over the years of my career, I have never considered who sings first, who sings later, whose picture on the poster is larger or smaller, never causing difficulties for colleagues or organizers. Artistic brothers and sisters, whoever has a trumpet-like personality, I am always ready to yield to them. I also never hate them, but only feel sorry for them, because I understand well, it can also be a form of “heavenly” disease, sometimes they also want to fix it but can’t fix it. I always prepare myself with a calm mind before the rule of old bamboo growing, bamboo is only beautiful when there are many bamboo shoots around, but I will try my best to make a really strong bamboo.
Having experienced many misfortunes: surgery for tumors, the second husband had a stroke after getting married, had to be treated for many months…, are you afraid of the two words “five term”, when this year is five years old?
Usually the years I have bad luck, are not the five years old, and conversely, the year of age is usually the lucky year, the most successful. I only “apply” to the number 5 only, with milestones associated with the numbers… divisible by 5: 5 years old away from mother, 15 years old entered the Conservatory, 25 years old got married, had children… And now I’m waiting to see what will happen to my 2023, when this is the milestone marking 15 years of my settlement in the US, 5 years of remarriage… When my mind is at peace, I believe I will keep my happiness.
